Married Str8 Trio – Underwear & Swimwear Stigma Chat Part 3
What stigmas are holding you back and in what way?
The Bottom Drawer: I’d say stigmas have less impact on my underwear choice than swimwear choice. With underwear not being seen by most people it is easier to get past the stigmas for me. I may or may not wear a thong if I know I could be seen in them, but bikinis will be worn no matter what. I think it is more a comfort issues showing the buttock than a stigma issue. With swimwear I’d say it is a little bit of the gay related stigma with them, but I think that has been lessen over the years for me. Helps having a supportive wife with me. Now I would say it is more that I don’t want to be grouped with the ones that are just showing off their package. Also confidence issues are there with it being hard to be the lone ranger at the beach. In the end I‘d say my biggest thing to overcome is to just being confident.
Ron: Guys. As with Nate I think confidence is the main issue for public outings in swimwear mostly though also the locker room for underwear of you are ever in one. With me living in a more tolerant society in the UK and being older (and in ‘don’t care what others think’ mode ) I can stretch my boundaries of discomfort with others opinions and tend to wear the skimpiest I judge acceptable at the time. That said I always carry a back up suit not as skimpy as the one I intend to wear in case I feel uncomfortable with any of the other bathers. I’ll do a quick risk assessment and revert to skimpiest if I’m happy! For underwear it’s really what my wife will tolerate. Just now I’m about to buy a multi pack of coloured micro bikini underwear from kiniki so will be interesting when they arrive!
Blkmlthng: For me stigmas don’t hold me back in regards to underwear in the fact that it is underwear and it is meant to be under my clothes. Currently no one see’s my underwear but me, not even my wife. Usually I’m dressed for work before she arises to start her work day and I don’t flash my underwear for my co-workers to see…that would certainly cause quite a scandal, considering how skimpy my choices of underwear can be lol. My wife doesn’t disapprove of my underwear choices and I try to give her a peak into what I have on underneath from time to time. Also the fact that I am able to order my underwear from the comfort of my home behind my laptop or mobile device helps as no one can put a face with my underwear choice so that encourages me to keep wearing what I find comfortable. I agree with both of you in regarding the issue of public outings. I think I’m the one out of the two of you who still wear board shorts when I hit the beach or pool. I one day hope to wear a swim brief when I travel abroad with my wife at an adults only resort.
Which stigma would you most like to see defeated?
Ron: I think for me it’s the gay association with skimpy swimwear or thongs that I would like to see dealt with. I’m sure that if this was removed then more men would ditch the shorts and slip into bikinis. That said in many European countries there is not the same stigma though in brasil it exists even though about 25 years ago mens swimwear was quite brief and low cut.
Blkmlthng: I agree with Ron but more on the underwear side of the coin. In an instance when I feel like I might be seen in my underwear, be it a locker room or doctors appointment I may think twice about the underwear I’m wearing because I don’t want to deal with what I may perceive as misjudgments about me. I have always thought and still think it is ridiculous that a pair of underwear would define a man’s sexual orientation. It seemed to me back in the 1980’s and 1990’s men’s skimpy underwear, mainly string bikinis and bikinis, were the norm for all men, regardless of sexual orientation, somewhere along the way things changed.
The Bottom Drawer: I’m going to join in with the gay stigma, since I think that is what is holding most guys back from both skimpy underwear and swimwear. I think more guys would consider wearing them if that stigma wasn’t out there. I do think there has been some headway in lessening it over the years. Hopefully that will continue.
We all said we’d like to see the gay stigma defeated. Ideas on how to accomplish it.
The Bottom Drawer: One thing I think that is already helping is the Internet. It’s allowing us straight guys that are into the skimpy undies and swimwear voice it. Wasn’t quite so easy when I first got into bikinis and thongs. What would probably be even better is open discussion in person with other guys. That way we’d be reaching guys that probably are oblivious to the styles. I know that would be a hard one for me to do. For swimwear I’d say the guys that want to wear them just need to do it and lead by example. I know we’ve discussed better marketing before to straight guys by adding females into the ads or a celebrity. Basically just need to keep getting the word out that is fine for straight guys to wear skimpy underwear and swimwear.
Ron: To get over the gay stigma, while I agree that the Internet has revolutionised the way we shop anonymously and comfortably I think a radical way to get guts buying skimpy swimwear/underwear is to gradually reintroduce these items to stores. Perhaps a small section with the pay point nearby. As previously mentioned, I was very surprised to find mens string bikini underwear in a wallmart in Houston a couple of years back, places among the boxers and trunks. Also a campaign around getting women more interested in mens skimpy wear; they’re out there as you guys testify of your wives.
Blkmlthng: I agree with both of you 100%. I think if straight guys, such as ourselves, would openly proclaim to wear such underwear that may also help to debunk the stereotype that thongs are gay man’s underwear. I know for myself if the conversation comes up or if I’m ever asked it’s always assumed that I wear boxer briefs, which I do from time to time, and I don’t speak up to dispel the myth. I think people automatically assume that I am a boxer or boxer brief wear due to my race (African American) and how I dress as people make assumptions about people all the time that are false. Also if a straight male celebrity who has sex appeal with the women and men view as manly proudly professed the wearing of men’s thongs and other skimpy underwear that would carry some weight also. There is a morning show that I listen to and enjoy, The Rickey Smiley Morning Show, and there is a personality on there called Gary wit da Tea, he is a black gay male and he professes to love male thongs, he even has gone as far to make a mens thong underwear line. While he is being supportive of men wearing thongs, he is a gay male and that further supports the myth that only gay men wear thongs as the straight males on the show always say eww or act disgusted that he wears them, which definately doesn’t encourage me to speak up about straight men wearing them. I know we aren’t alone due to message boards and blogs on internet but most of those guys remain anonymous.
That wraps up our conversation on underwear and swimwear stigmas. Have topics you like to hear us discuss? Comment below and let us know.