Making a New Norm

Making a New Norm
My last post was Breaking a Norm. How about making a new norm or changing the norm? Is it possible to get swim briefs, bikinis and thongs, tights, or whatever item that isn’t widely worn by guys a norm? I guess anything is possible, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon. I thought fashion repeated itself at some point. I mean the high waisted swim bikinis for women are coming back, so why aren’t the swim briefs?

As individuals, I don’t see us changing a societal social norm. Even all of us together I don’t see it enough to change it. I’m sure we are changing some people’s views along with encouragimg others to give against the norm clothing a try. For the norm to change it is going to have to come from the fashion industry or high profile men pushing the message. Still I’m not sure if that is going to be enough to change people’s perspective that anyone can wear it. I know I’m not holding my breath for norms to change, so I can wear things I want to try and wear. I’m not jumping all in exactly either.

Instead of looking at making a new or changing the norm at the high societal level. Let’s look at changing it at a lower level. The lowest level to start at is the personal norm. You need to make the item you want to wear feel like a norm to you be it thong underwear, swim briefs, tights, etc. You do it by just wearing them. Wear them around the house and check yourself out in the mirror. Seeing yourself in them is important. The visual of seeing yourself in them will sink into the brain. The more you see yourself the more you’ll start seeing and feeling them as normal to you.

Once you start feeling more confidence wearing them, start testing the waters out of the house. Underwear is much easier than outwear to do this. Most aren’t going to see your undies. You can however wear the against the norm undies while changing in the locker room. Or wear them for a doctor’s visit. Those are two good places to work on that normalcy feeling for underwear. Now for outerwear like swim briefs and tights, it can be more challenging to increase your feeling of norm. I look at places that aren’t high traffic unless you like ripping the bandage off. Maybe out in your yard catching some rays in that swim brief. Or a warm day in the off season at the beach is a great time to try out the Speedo. For tights taking the garbage to the curb. How about running some errands that aren’t running into a store. Try dropping some donations off at a clothing bin, pumping gas, or something that is fairly quick that gets you out of the car in them for a few minutes. It’s about getting some public exposure to maybe one or two people.

Once you have that personal feeling of a norm with the item, you can work on expanding the norm. Why not work on making the item a norm to your family and/or friends. For me family is the easier one to start with. My first step is wife and kids, but parents and siblings are a good starting point too. They’re the second step on my expansion of norm. Having them see you in that swim brief or tights regularly or as regularly as possible will work on conditioning their minds. It will work the same on them as it does with yourself checking yourself in the mirror. Eventually, instead of a bit of a shocking look they’ll just think oh that is what he wears or maybe think nothing at all about it. It will be part of your normal wardrobe to them.

When you are comfortable around family and friends then it is just time to chip away at different public places to wear them. You’re not going to make them a norm at these places for others and if it is different people there every time then they won’t see them as a norm for you either. The real goal is to make them feel like a norm for you at these places. For me, I feel my swim briefs are a norm for me at our local beaches. I do still have some anxiety initially, but it melts away once I’m stripped down to my swim brief. I’m still working on them as a norm around more of the family besides my wife and kids. As I said it doesn’t have to be an all in thing. It can be a long journey of working to get where you want to be with it.

Let’s wrap this post up. It is going to be hard to change the views of society that us guys can wear skimpy form fitting underwear, swimwear, pants, shorts, etc. What we can do is work at the lower level. Most importantly it is the personal level that we need to feel what we are wearing is a norm. Be it in particular situations or every situation. We need to be able to enjoy what we like to wear. Allowing others to see you wearing against the norm societal fashion will eventually sink into their heads as a norm to them for you. Maybe you will inspire someone else to take the step and you will have a partner in crime. If each one of us can enlighten just one other person to cross over then we would double our numbers. I know there are many people on the fence about trying something sexier, but what society says is holding them back. It’s time for us to make some new pockets of norms out there for us guys. Even if they’re only a handful of people in those pockets.

18 Responses

  1. David says:

    I agree with this article. I got away with wearing swimbriefs on my walks along the river years ago, even sporting a tan-thru bikini that covered my front, most of the back and had a skimpy waistband. Got plenty of looks and compliments from women who saw me.

    Wearing minimals elsewhere nowadays is risky.

  2. T says:

    Hi Nate . Good follow up to your previous post. Making something the norm is something we all can aim for, but what might seem the norm to one guy could be not in a million years for another. Reading your article, I found I already do many of the things you suggest to create a sense of normality such as walking around the house in my underwear, being out in the garden or taking the bins out to the street. However, you have more chance of winning the lottery than seeing me going out in public wearing leggings or tights. That might seem strange coming from someone who can answer the door to cold callers etc wearing nothing but a G-string, or who can bare all in a foreign nudist zone, but it’s true, which is why I can understand why a guy might be fine wearing running tights when out jogging, but would draw the line at wearing a speedo or thong in public.
    Youtube is a good place to find people willing to challenge the norm albeit often in a jokey fashion. I recently watched a video of a bodybuilder in a gold posing suit pushing a trolley and going into various retail outlets. Needless to say he was approached by various staff members telling him that his attire wasn’t appropriate and that he should be wearing a shirt and pants(trousers). I think most of us would expect a similar reaction if we went shopping in a bikini brief or speedo, although as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have seen a few Italian guys wearing a speedo in shops. And don’t get me started on people who go shopping in their nightwear. I hope that never becomes the “norm.”
    I try and avoid reality shows like the plague, but when I do come across them while channel hopping, I notice that when a beach or pool is involved, the girls are invariably wearing barely there thong bikinis, while the guys are covered up in dork shorts. I believe these programmes are very popular with the younger generation who must think that is the way they have to dress in a similar situation. Programmes like that also don’t help when it comes to giving guys a positive image of briefer swimwear and body image.
    In closing, all we can do is remain resolute in our quest to make what to some appears abnormal become commonplace.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      You are right. Not all of us are going to have the same interest in creating the same norm. Even the same norm could be slightly different. It’s about finding a place that we are happy with wearing something society is saying isn’t what a typical guy wears. I don’t think I’ll be wearing my leggings/tights into a store to do a lot of shopping like women do, but there are places I hope they’ll be a norm option. I do understand why leggings are popular with women. They are a comfortable option.

      It seems it is only about the abs for guys, while it is about the whole body for women in those shows. Television shows are definitely not helping us for skimpier attire.

      • Randy says:

        Nice post Nate! I’m raising the bar pretty high when it comes to setting the new normal for me. I don’t wear underwear at all so I can’t speak on those issues. I do wear thong and string bikini swimsuits, in my yard, pools and beach. Leggings are my go to pants if you will, I wear them everywhere, shopping, out to dinner or just traveling work or personal. During work or dinner with customers I wear jeans or work pants.
        This past weekend was our first camping trip of 2022 I wore Leggings most of the time. Even wore them leaving the campground and to the dump station.
        With all what is going on the world now my thong or Leggings is least of the problem. Plus I just don’t care what people think.
        The only way to set a new norm is do it everyday. Drive it like you stole it!

        • The Bottom Drawer says:

          Thanks Randy! Good to hear you’re still rocking what you want to wear. I’m seeing myself as a situational normalizer. At this point in time I can’t see myself shopping or eating out in leggings like you, but maybe that will change. You are right it should be the least of the worries.

  3. Bill says:

    While I agree with you for the most part, however I am seeing more guys wearing tights(leggings) in the gym and it’s easy to see they are wearing bikini’s or thongs under them. It’s kinda like guys wearing nail polish. I’m seeing a lot more of that now than in years past. So who knows. Maybe our choice of undies will be more of a norm in the future. I will continue to wear my thongs. And when guys ask I’ll encourage them to give it a try. I’ve already converted several now!!!!

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      That’s great to hear you are seeing that at the gym. I don’t go to one locally, so I don’t really know what is worn around here. Occasionally I’ll see a guy running in tights, but that is about it. Awesome you’ve been able to convert several people!

    • Danny says:

      I noticed one of the trainers at my LA Fitness location is a thong wearer. I’m guessing it’s a lot more comfortable since the dude has huge legs.
      I’m guessing it makes squats and jumps easier too

    • Mike says:

      I wear reasonably short shorts to our CrossFit gym and always a thong underneath.
      You can see almost all the girls in the gym wear thongs underneath their lycra shorts or tights, so I suppose if they looked they could see I wear a thong too, No one has said anything yet but we’ll see what happens when they do.

  4. mrrigid says:

    For the last couple years, I’ve tried to make a point of getting outside early in the morning (before 6) in just my bikini underwear. I go out to deal with the recycling, feed the neighborhood cat, or just look at the stars, from the side or back of my house.

    It really is a great feeling – not sure if anyone’s seen, though it’s certainly possible. It’d be fun to take the trash to the curb in just my bikinis, though that would bring the cop across the street into in picture. Hmm.

    • Mike says:

      Ha Ha, fun isn’t it? I’ve been putting the trash out all this summer, but completely nude, I live on a fairly busy road, and the car screens me off a bit, but its still fun.

      • mrrigid says:

        Actually I’ve done that too! Then my neighbor got those motion-detector lights. Not sure if there’s a connection, but if anyone wants to see me in a bikini – enjoy!

    • DonS says:

      It was a night-time garbage dump in a g-string for me. My partner was away and I had forgotten to put out some junk and recyclables (a normal job for her). Already dressed in the g-string for bed, I ducked out with the stuff. Only a few metres from the back door, and I did not put any external lights on. It was the dare component of it that made it feel good.

      • T says:

        That reminds me of the time I did that late one Sunday night, only to be spotted by a drunk neighbour in his back garden. If you want to find out how I ended up playing his guitar in a purple G-string in his shed, which some time later resulted in me singing in a local pub to raise funds for a hospice appeal, then go to the “Caught with your pants down” topic in the archives. lol

  5. Danny says:

    Hopefully sites like Amazon end up exposing more guys to a variety of underwear choices. Many just seem to not realize skimpy underwear exists.
    They might be searching for boxers, but could end up seeing an Amazon add for a tanga or string.

  6. DonS says:

    I think there are two norms here to break for those who do not wear the styles we are discussing.

    One norm is to accept that there are men who do wear such styles, and they enjoy it, and are not all gay or effeminate or anything else. They are just happy individuals who wear such items for comfort, feel-good emotions and a belief that there is no need for such a large amount of fabric, for something which is to basically cover the genitals, as seen in boxers or trunks.

    The second is that because other men can, and do, wear such styles, then so can they for the same reasons as we do. Of course, there are no doubt thousands of men who have tried skimpy styles and rejected them from the comfort argument, and that’s fair enough. But of those who have never tried them, then break that norm and give it a go.

    Then once sufficient individuals within any society see the above as normal, then so does that society.

  7. Perris says:

    I live in the drought affected part of the USA and am surprised that no one has brought up the fact that boxer-briefs use more water for laundering than briefer underwear. I still see BB dominating the underwear aisle here and think how much water could be saved and used for crops or fighting wildfires. It’s a good time to make that as a new norm as I don’t see conditions improving anytime soon environmentally.

    • DonS says:

      Good point, and it applies to more countries than the USA.

      Another aspect is that the larger styles take longer to dry, which might not matter too much at home, but is a nuisance while travelling if you want to hand-wash a pair and have them dry before moving the next day. Small styles, especially if of a synthetic fabric, easily dry overnight.

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