Making a New Norm
My last post was Breaking a Norm. How about making a new norm or changing the norm? Is it possible to get swim briefs, bikinis and thongs, tights, or whatever item that isn’t widely worn by guys a norm? I guess anything is possible, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon. I thought fashion repeated itself at some point. I mean the high waisted swim bikinis for women are coming back, so why aren’t the swim briefs?
As individuals, I don’t see us changing a societal social norm. Even all of us together I don’t see it enough to change it. I’m sure we are changing some people’s views along with encouragimg others to give against the norm clothing a try. For the norm to change it is going to have to come from the fashion industry or high profile men pushing the message. Still I’m not sure if that is going to be enough to change people’s perspective that anyone can wear it. I know I’m not holding my breath for norms to change, so I can wear things I want to try and wear. I’m not jumping all in exactly either.
Instead of looking at making a new or changing the norm at the high societal level. Let’s look at changing it at a lower level. The lowest level to start at is the personal norm. You need to make the item you want to wear feel like a norm to you be it thong underwear, swim briefs, tights, etc. You do it by just wearing them. Wear them around the house and check yourself out in the mirror. Seeing yourself in them is important. The visual of seeing yourself in them will sink into the brain. The more you see yourself the more you’ll start seeing and feeling them as normal to you.
Once you start feeling more confidence wearing them, start testing the waters out of the house. Underwear is much easier than outwear to do this. Most aren’t going to see your undies. You can however wear the against the norm undies while changing in the locker room. Or wear them for a doctor’s visit. Those are two good places to work on that normalcy feeling for underwear. Now for outerwear like swim briefs and tights, it can be more challenging to increase your feeling of norm. I look at places that aren’t high traffic unless you like ripping the bandage off. Maybe out in your yard catching some rays in that swim brief. Or a warm day in the off season at the beach is a great time to try out the Speedo. For tights taking the garbage to the curb. How about running some errands that aren’t running into a store. Try dropping some donations off at a clothing bin, pumping gas, or something that is fairly quick that gets you out of the car in them for a few minutes. It’s about getting some public exposure to maybe one or two people.
Once you have that personal feeling of a norm with the item, you can work on expanding the norm. Why not work on making the item a norm to your family and/or friends. For me family is the easier one to start with. My first step is wife and kids, but parents and siblings are a good starting point too. They’re the second step on my expansion of norm. Having them see you in that swim brief or tights regularly or as regularly as possible will work on conditioning their minds. It will work the same on them as it does with yourself checking yourself in the mirror. Eventually, instead of a bit of a shocking look they’ll just think oh that is what he wears or maybe think nothing at all about it. It will be part of your normal wardrobe to them.
When you are comfortable around family and friends then it is just time to chip away at different public places to wear them. You’re not going to make them a norm at these places for others and if it is different people there every time then they won’t see them as a norm for you either. The real goal is to make them feel like a norm for you at these places. For me, I feel my swim briefs are a norm for me at our local beaches. I do still have some anxiety initially, but it melts away once I’m stripped down to my swim brief. I’m still working on them as a norm around more of the family besides my wife and kids. As I said it doesn’t have to be an all in thing. It can be a long journey of working to get where you want to be with it.
Let’s wrap this post up. It is going to be hard to change the views of society that us guys can wear skimpy form fitting underwear, swimwear, pants, shorts, etc. What we can do is work at the lower level. Most importantly it is the personal level that we need to feel what we are wearing is a norm. Be it in particular situations or every situation. We need to be able to enjoy what we like to wear. Allowing others to see you wearing against the norm societal fashion will eventually sink into their heads as a norm to them for you. Maybe you will inspire someone else to take the step and you will have a partner in crime. If each one of us can enlighten just one other person to cross over then we would double our numbers. I know there are many people on the fence about trying something sexier, but what society says is holding them back. It’s time for us to make some new pockets of norms out there for us guys. Even if they’re only a handful of people in those pockets.