When is it time for bikinis and thongs for the kids?

When is it time for bikinis and thongs for the kids?

I should still have several years before this question will need answered in my household. it is one I wonder about though. When is the right time to allow your kids to try bikinis and thongs? I have a boy and a girl. Is the time the same for both of them? Is my wearing of bikinis and thongs going to get them interested sooner than their peers? Are they going to follow societal norms? Should I try to encourage breaking the norm?

There are a lot of questions floating around my head on when is a good time to let kids branch out from conservative styles of underwear and swimwear. In general I think it will come down to the individual kid. Girls are going to have the advantage with bikinis and thongs being acceptable along with mass availability. Thongs seem to be thought of more mature over bikinis for girls. Of course it depends on the bikini’s coverage. That brings me to one thing I’d have to factor into the equation, which is their maturity. Swimwear to me would require more maturity than underwear.

This might go with maturity a bit, but can they handle criticism. Girls the criticism would be towards swimwear and how they look in it. Boys would be both. They probably wouldn’t hear the end of it from classmates if it was discovered they wore bikinis and/or thongs. So thick skin would be ideal, but limiting when they were worn might suffice to build the confidence.

Though maybe it should really come down to when they ask. I know how it felt when I got my first bikini. Do I want to delay them discovering that? Even if I did deny their request would that stop them? Maybe my son, since it’s hard to find bikinis and thongs locally, but not my daughter. I ‘d prefer to know they are wearing them then sneaking around. I don’t want them to feel that I think they are inappropriate, especially with me wearing the styles.

I feel I’ll be pretty open to them wanting to try bikinis and thongs as underwear for sure. Of course the wife will have input into it. I think if the kids ask to try a certain underwear style we’d let them give it a try. Swimwear probably would be more of a discussion with it being for public viewing. Like is it really age appropriate? I’m sure we may need to do some compromising to find a balance in what we all find is age appropriate. Maybe allow the style they really want for backyard wear if we don’t think it is really beach or pool ready yet.

I suppose I need to take in consideration that they won’t follow in my footsteps at all. There is the chance they will have no interest in bikinis and/or thongs. Hopefully that will not be the case. I would hate them to miss out on the enjoyment bikinis and thongs bring.

What I really want is them to have a body positive attitude and be comfortable in what they wear. Do you think there is a particular time for kids to get into bikinis and/or thongs? Have you gone through the stage with your kids and have insights (positive or negative) you can share?


45 Responses

  1. Larry says:

    Well done

  2. SM_Thongguy says:

    A great topic

    I think of this from a people’s perspective. I don’t have children but at what age do I expose myself to other people’s children. For instance having a bikini day in my own back yard and someone visits with their children.

    This is too comes down to if I had my own children. The postive side is you want your children not to hide and also have open discussions. As you mentioned, they will require a thick skin for other children.

    Yet I think you will handle it in a positive way. Not like our parents – who just keep quiet now.

    Deep thinking indeed but at one point we knew this would influence a kid or kids who has interest or not.

    Again I view it as being open and willing to discuss.

    All the best.

  3. Bill says:

    My wife decided that both of our kids (a boy and a girl) could wear them when they were 12. I was fine with it as long as they were comfortable wearing them. They both saw us wearing them and were curious. We started them out in bikinis first and then thongs at 15.

    It seemed to work for us and them. When ever you guys decide be supportive of your kids and have fun with them. After all, it’s just underwear. They should enjoy the comfort we’ve all discovered.

    Keep us posted!!

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      Thanks for sharing how you and your wife handled it. My initial thought if I had to pick an age it would be 13 when they are officially a teenager. Though guess I’ll see when they ask and go from there. I’d go bikini cut first then thong too. When did your kids start asking? I still should have several years until mine start asking if they even do ask.

      • Bill says:

        They both started right before they turned 12. So on their birthday we got them an assortment of bikinis. They loved them.

  4. Crossfithong says:

    This is an interesting topic Nate,
    Well, I don’t have kids, but I would first don’t hesitate myself wearing thong or bikini on from of them, even eventually they’ll find normal and common to see men and women wearing what ever they want, even nudity should be a normal thing for everyone I think (there are camps where you can be naked with your kids and around other people whom doesn’t see nudity wrong with, but that’s another story).
    I think the age could be around 12-15 years old, that’s when I started curiosity about underwear, I didn’t have anyone around me encourage me to wear thong or bikinis, If I had someone to guide me with different style and make feel save.
    Because when I dared to choose something skimpy for first time, my dad get mad at me and told me why I was wearing that. So that definitely didn’t help at all. So, you guys can encourage your kids to try on, and that encourage you as well guys, being brave on from your kids and not be shy about yourself.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      I’m trying to make sure they find me wearing bikinis and thongs as normal along with swim (bikini) briefs. We also do our best not to show them we are ashamed of our bodies. Too many people have body image issues in this world. Of course we don’t go out of our way for our kids to see us nude or in our underwear, but we don’t say anything if they barging in when changing. We’ll walk from the shower to the bedroom to get dressed or the rest of the way dressed.

  5. Crossfithong says:

    And also, don’t let your kids become the girl on this video, over reacting about speedo.
    https://youtu.be/6szuDTK2-Io

    • T says:

      Unfortunately,this video is not available here,but I can imagine the poor Dad getting pelters from his closed minded daughter.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      Seems like it was more of a joke on his daughter, since he put his trunks back on. Her reaction wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but of course she didn’t approve of it. Now if he always wore swim briefs she wouldn’t have thought anything of it.

    • Greg says:

      That video is unfortunately a “normal” reaction to a man in a bikini (or worse, a thong). If you notice, all the men and boys walking around in the background are wearing the boring board shorts. Long, baggy, formless suits. The Dad looked much better in the bikini, but gave in to the laughter, and put his baggy shorts back on.

  6. T says:

    Hi Nate. It will be interesting to see the answers you receive from the blog followers on this particular topic.
    I would imagine if you and your wife have been seen walking around the house or sunbathing in thongs and bikinis by your children from a very young age,then they will probably be more open minded when the time comes for them to have more of a say on what they wear as underwear and swimwear.
    It is hard to put an age acceptable limit on bikini underwear for young girls and boys,especially as both sexes tend to mature at different ages. I think teenage girls are more likely to be more adventurous than teenage boys,possibly because they see that their Mothers have nice feminine undies,whereas the boys are more likely to see their Fathers’ standard(boring)boxers.
    I personally think that thongs for youngsters is a real hot potato of a subject. I’m not a parent,but I can’t imagine too many of them being totally comfortable with their kids of school age, heading off for a P.E lesson with their thongs under their school uniforms. I think it would take more than a thick skin for any boy to strip down to a thong in the gym changing room in front of his boxer wearing school mates, to deal with the abuse he would get.
    Taking all this into account,I would probably suggest that the thongs were left until the wearer was legally able to marry etc,unless the wearer was hellbent on doing otherwise. But bikini underwear would be less of a contentious issue.
    Ideally you want all children to grow up with no hangups about their bodies and also not to be prejudiced against certain items of clothing,in this case,bikinis and thongs!

    On another age appropriate topic, I told of seeing a young boy of about 10 yrs last year in Sicily with his parents,and how he wasn’t in the slightest bit embarrassed when his Mother went topless and his naked Father took him down to the sea to go snorkeling. I deduced that from a young age he had become accustomed to his parents baring almost all and it hadn’t affected him in a negative way!

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      I agree thongs are a more mature underwear option over bikinis. So it will be bikinis first. Girls are also going to see the variety of styles in their underwear section over boys, so I think that would encourage them to try them over boys too. With bikinis there is a wide variety in cuts, which some could require more maturity over others. Of course the boys are going to have a harder time wearing bikinis and thongs and may have to confirm to norms at times or wear them underneath the norm. I think in high school girls are going to be wearing a variety of underwear styles including thongs when changing in the locker room. Probably not going to have too many issues with underwear choice. Lots of factors to consider. Main goal is not to have them see bikinis and thongs as negative in any way.

  7. J says:

    My father has always worn bikinis, string bikinis and some thongs( all different colors, prints and patterns) I saw him in them a few times as a kid and it was normal to me. What was strange is my mother only bought me plain white briefs. When I was 11 I asked my dad if I could wear underwear like his and he spoke to my mother about it she said no. When I turned 12 I asked my dad again for underwear like his and he took me to the store and bought me one pack of each style ( bikini, string bikini, thong)
    25 years later it’s still what I mostly wear.

  8. Bill says:

    I hear you. I’ve worn bikinis for 30 years. But it was my wife that introduced me to thongs and I’ve never looked back. I actually had hurt my self down there wearing loose boxers one day. I went to the doctor and she told me not to wear boxers. My wife worked there and she suggested me try a thong for the pain. The doctor agreed. So I did. We later started dating and got married. And I’m the better for it.

    • DonS says:

      I’ve had a similar experience ten years ago. It was my partner who did the damage, and there was no pain most of the time but only when support was lost when the string bikinis came off. As the pain was taking a bit of time to disappear, I went to the doctor to play safe.

      Although there was no actual treatment except time, the female doctor suggested wearing a g-string at night until resolved. I didn’t tell her that I was already doing that. Nor the problem of implementing the suggestion, as by then g-strings were no longer in the chain stores here and it meant internet purchases, so by the time of ordering and receipt of the items I had hoped the pain would have gone. It did, the pain was no more after another two days.

      But at least there was medical awareness of the issue and possible treatments. How she knew about g-strings as a possible help is any-one’s guess. Although there is a good reason why male ballet dancers wear what they do, so it may have been knowledge of this that made her think of her suggestion. It would be interesting to know how many other men may have taken to g-strings or thongs after such an experience.

  9. David says:

    Interesting topic, fortunately I have a few years before this comes up with our kids, but am interested in learning from others experiences. My kids are young (4 years and 5 months) so they don’t understand yet. I wear skimpier underwear than my wife, but I am cautious not to “flaunt” my underwear. I will speak primarily for my son, since my daughter will have more acceptance in whatever her choice is. For me, I hope to let my son try briefs and boxer briefs when he is out of diapers to let him see/feel the difference. As he gets older if he prefers one style over the other I hope to encourage him to be comfortable. I know school age the majority of boys will be in boxers/boxer briefs with few in briefs and most likely none in bikinis. But if he wants to try bikinis then I’ll let him have some. I grew up very modest and mostly wore briefs, about 14 or 15 I talked my mom into buying me a pack of string bikinis from Target and I loved them; but I also wasn’t confident enough with myself to wear them on days I had to dress out for gym class. No one else wore them so I didn’t want to be bullied for my choice of underwear. So, I guess my opinion would be when he shows interest or if a specific age would be between 13-15. As for a thong though, I didn’t try my first thong until I was college age and doing my own laundry – 20 years later I still have my first Jockey cotton thong. I have a question for others similar to this post, I wear bikini or thong under my clothes during the day but I sleep in pajama boxers – like I said I don’t want to flaunt my underwear in front of my kids but I don’t want them to think I’m ashamed of my underwear either. thoughts?

    • David says:

      It wasn’t Target, it was K-Mart and I think they were Hang Ten animal print and I wore them until they were so thin and developed holes that I had to throw them away

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      My kids are 7 and 3 and they both notice my underwear especially the thongs. I’ve gotten the comments I see your butt and your underwear is in your butt. I’m sure they don’t know it isn’t a norm for guys (I think they see it as grownup underwear) to wear them, but they notice it is different from theirs. Being seen in your underwear and flaunting aren’t the same thing. Our bathroom is down the hall a bit from our bedroom, so after a shower I’ll walk from it to my room to get dressed. They’ve had to use the bathroom when I’ve been in the middle of shaving after a shower and had to let them in. I sleep in my underwear, so if they yell in the middle of the night I’ll head over in my underwear. Some times they’ll end up in our bed too. We don’t usually closes our bedroom door when we change clothes, so the kids will come in sometimes when we change. We don’t tell them to get out. We just continue on getting dressed or maybe answer their question first. Basically I just act like it is the norm in underwear, which it is for me. We’ve had to change in locker rooms with them for things like water parks. So you have to wear them with confidence and proudly. Let them see them as a norm until they find out they truly aren’t. Don’t go out of your way to hide what you are wearing under your clothes.

      When my son was 4 and my daughter not quite 1, I had to make a now or never decision about wearing a swim brief at the local beach. I’ve worn them in the backyard with them and a hotel pool once, but not to beach. I felt my son was at an age where I had to just do it before it would be awkward or he thought I was ashamed to wear them away from the house. So about 3 years now, I’ve started wearing swim briefs only when we go to the local beach. He seems to realize they aren’t typical. He’s asked why I’m wearing underwear a few times in the early days of wearing them. That has made my wife mad at him, since he’s asked it after she explained it wasn’t underwear, but my swimsuit before. Somewhat recently he’s asked what my swimsuit is called again. We make sure we identify swim briefs and swim trunks. Guess my point of this little story is the earlier the better to get your kids to see what you wear as a norm.

      • David says:

        Yes I would never flaunt, my daughter came into my closet while I was dressing she was playing hide and seek from her mom and I was just in my briefs. I didn’t make a bid deal of it and she didn’t notice; i just continued dressing. I wear boxers to bed in case I have to get up in the middle of the night for our daughter or walk around the house with a crying baby. Our daughter ends up in our bed almost nightly and truthfully there is probably less chance of “falling out” in briefs than the boxers.

      • T says:

        Hi Nate. Your kids’ comments about seeing your butt and your underwear being in your butt made me laugh out loud. Young kids have no filters,so they just say what they see. I can imagine they might have been giggling when they saw Daddy’s underwear in his butt,but I’m sure you handled it in a way that satisfied their curiosity without getting embarrassed and making a big deal of it.

      • David says:

        Nate. Do you let your son wear swim briefs? I know they make them for kids so I wasn’t sure if for you that would be a good start.

        • The Bottom Drawer says:

          He hasn’t asked to try swimwear like mine as of yet. I’m open to it, but if he does ask then probably leave it up for the wife to decide.

  10. T says:

    Hi David. I would say your children are still way too young to notice or care what their Daddy is wearing in bed or around the house. If you are comfortable wearing a bikini or thong under your clothes during the day,then why not wear them in bed? It sounds like the main reason you wear boxers in bed is because you ARE slightly ashamed about your choice of skimpier underwear.
    There may well come a time when your children will say “Dad,my friends are coming over in half an hour,please put some clothes on!” But if you wear your bikinis etc with confidence when they are still young,they will be far more accustomed to it and that dreaded day will be much further in the future.

    • David says:

      Hello T, yes they are way too young to understand – my daughter has walked into the closet while I was putting on pants and didn’t notice or say anything. Ashamed may be strong, but slightly true – I guess since bikinis are seen outside of society norm and a small lack of self confidence, but I am working on it.

      • T says:

        Hi David. Believe me,it wasn’t intended as any kind of criticism when I suggested you might be slightly ashamed of your undies,hence the boxers in bed. We all have to do what makes us comfortable while acknowledging the need to promote the raison d’etre of this blog.

        • David says:

          T, I didn’t take offense at all. It is true, Im not as confident as I need to be to wear them and be seen. In fact this site has helped me overcome some of my fears. My wife doesn’t know I own as many thongs and bikinis as I do. But we are getting off topic I apologize.

          • T says:

            No worries,David. Mind you,you’ve now got me wondering how you can keep the number of thongs and bikinis you have secret from your wife?(lol). Do you have a secret stash somewhere,and surely she must see them in the laundry basket at some point? Perhaps that could be a new topic for Nate to consider. “How do you conceal the true size of your sexy underwear collection from your nearest and dearest?”

  11. David says:

    My wife rarely goes in my closet so the ones she doesn’t know about are stashed there. And when I do wear a thong I put it in separate laundry and wash them later. I have introduced a few bikinis and she didn’t make any comment. Maybe soon i’ll introduce a thong. I’d be glad to chat more privately, Nate can share with you my email.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      Would be good to get your wife acquainted with thongs before the kids. I’d guess your wife would have said something if she didn’t like the bikinis. Try to find more ways to allow her to see you in them like sleeping in them. Can always have shorts/boxers beside the bed to slip on if need be. Then slip a thong in now and then. Need to wear them with confidence around the wife too! I did share your email with T.

      • David says:

        Growing up my dad always wore plain boxers, I tried them in middle school especially during changing for gym class and I hated them. Switched back to briefs in high school and that is when I got my first string bikini. Fast forward the purchase of several thongs and bikinis over the years then switched back to boxer briefs during dating years then trying to get pregnant years. Now I’m switching back to briefs, slowly bikinis and hopefully work in thongs. When we first married I would wear some skimpy ones during intimate times to test the water. There wasn’t a bad reaction but I don’t think she’d was accustomed to a guy wearing a bikini.

  12. Bikini Obsessed says:

    I grew up in a non male bikini wearing household. If my dad ever did wear them, he never wore them around us kids. My dad was comfortable with body image though and he encouraged that in us also. When I discovered bikinis I made the point of it to show them off a bit (around my dad) …I think I wanted show off a bit. I think he approved of the bikinis but one time he told me that I should ‘wait till I’m married to wear those’. But other times he didn’t seem to mind at all that I was wearing them. I had a friend growing up who was a bikini and largely his family (brothers) were also (not sure about the dad). They were originally from Europe and I remember seeing European catalogues with a pretty interesting underwear section : ) I kind of felt jealous actually that they were more of a bikini family than mine. I didn’t really parade around in my bikinis in front of my brothers much actually as I kind of kept them to myself growing up.

    I remember asking my mom if I could buy a pack of bikinis once (I was around 12 or 13 I think) and she said yes. It was just too bad that my dad wasn’t a regular bikini wearer….otherwise i’m sure I would have felt more comfortable with that interest. I knew of some of my uncles being bikini wearers though….think I heard from word of mouth from my cousins.

  13. Rick says:

    We were the type of family that ate saturday and sunday breakfasts in our underwear before we went to take our shower. My dad wore bikinis, and I remember when I was shopping for clothes for 8th grade school year my mom asked what kind of underwear I wanted (I was wearing tighty whities and colored briefs). I asked if I could try bikinis, like dad, and she said fine. That was the start of the journey for me. I had also been on the summer community swim team so I was already mostly a speedo guy.

    • David says:

      My dad has and always will wear just plain boxer shorts, I do think he has tried boxer briefs. Like you it was my mom that bought my first bikini.

      • Rick says:

        I’m not sure my mom was thrilled with me wearing bikinis, but at my High School at that time you got mocked for wearing white briefs (the taunt was “does your mother buy your underwear?” which was dumb because none of us could drive, so of course our parents bought our underwear). Boxer briefs weren’t really a thing yet, but lots of guys wore bikinis, colored briefs, or boxers. I tried boxers for a short time, but really missed the support.

  14. RT says:

    Really wasn’t much of a discussion in our household. My two sons were used to seeing me in my bikinis, thongs and g-strings from a very young age. If anything, they were more influenced by the summers spent with their male cousins in southern France, all of whom essentially wore tiny speedos for the entire summer as they lived at the beach. Underwear was just as tiny. We used to do the end of summer shopping for underwear for the school year ahead, and by their early teens they were opting for bikinis themselves. My wife and I let them choose what they wanted, and never heard of any issues they faced at school. Both boys are now in their 20s, and still wear bikinis as their preferred underwear and swimwear, and my oldest also likes to wear thongs and g-strings. It’s essentially a non-issue in our household.

  15. T says:

    Great to hear that you were such a good role model to your two sons by openly wearing your underwear around the house,and how that positive attitude and influence has paid off in their own healthy attitude towards wearing skimpier undies. Good also that you highlighted the influence of their cousins in France. Some European countries have a much more liberal and tolerant attitude when it comes to men wearing skimpier swimwear. The USA and UK are way behind and in some respects are living in the dark ages. Anything briefer than baggy board shorts at the beach can cause mass outrage among the sheep,and heaven help any guy who forgoes the boring boxers for a bikini or thong!

    • RT says:

      As I’ve said in previous posts, the only way to instill self-confidence in my sons about their own bodies is to model the behaviour they need to see. If I hide and wear dork-shorts, what am is saying about my sense of my body. I’ve always worn skimpy bikinis and g-strings long before they were born, and their arrival should not have changed such. It was never discussed nor explained, it was just “normal”. And I’m glad to say that they now are as confident in their bodies and their bikinis as am I.

      • The Bottom Drawer says:

        That is why I decided it was now or never for swim briefs at the local beach about 3 summers ago. It needed to be seen as my normal swim attire to my kids before they got much older to notice. Bikinis and thongs is all they have ever seen me wear as underwear, so it is encouraging to hear that kids are following into their parents’ footsteps. Too many of both genders are missing out of bikinis and thongs. Thanks for sharing your experience with your kids.

      • David_nc says:

        RT it is great that you were so open with your kids and were such a big influence on their confidence and their bikini choice. You posted earlier that at the end of summer you would shop for underwear and that is when they asked about wearing bikinis. I know my first purchase came from a big box store (Kmart) 25 years ago. But it saddens me to think that those of us with younger kids (boys more so) will have a more difficult time introducing bikini underwear as most big box stores have stopped selling them.

        • RT says:

          Hello David
          In the spirit of transparency, we were helped by the fact our end-of-summer underwear shopping for the boys was at the end of our summers in France. We were heading to French shops, which have far more selection. Agree that shop options in North America are now non-existent.

  16. DonS says:

    I’d say your daughter will be more influenced by what your wife wears, and I can’t see that mentioned in the article. Who knows what the underwear situation will be like in five or so years, though my guess is not much different to now, given how long we have had the current, apparently, preference for boxers/trunks.

    Swimwear might be different, as both children will easily see what their friends wear. It still is the preference for younger teen girls here to wear bikinis once the curves have developed, and that usually carries through to the later teens and early 20s.

    Wasn’t there a stink a few years ago (maybe 20) about a chain store offering g-strings for girls, even went as low as 7 year olds, so that they could look like big sister or mother. This may have been USA only.

    Whatever the outcome of your children’s underwear choice, if the preference is not for bikinis or thongs, it should be accepted. It might even change over time as well.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      True my daughter would also get influenced by what my wife wears. I think there would also be influence by what stores carry. I mean females have a large selection and more than conservative styles are put on display, so they could get tempted by what they see to try a variety of styles. While males don’t have much in the selection department. If they have bikinis or thongs they won’t be put on mannequins to be displayed. I don’t think we’ll see much change with underwear either anytime soon.

      I remember hear something like that about someone offering thongs for younger kids too and there was uproar about that.

      We’ll accept whatever they decide on.

  17. Me says:

    In my opinion it’s easy. Just extrapolate to boys what the society think about teenage girls wearing thongs.
    I think less than 13 should not be acceptable. At 15 practically all girls have worn thongs sometime (at least I remember when I was a teenager) and it’s rare people who don’t accept girls up to that age wear thongs, so the question is if 13 or 14 is an acceptable age to start wearing thongs.

  18. Daniel says:

    I remember many years ago my stepdaughter’s stepmother at the time bought her thong underwear while she was ten. When my wife (well before I hit the scene) got wind of it, she said absolutely not. If I was her father, I would have asked them two questions: 1) Do you have the receipt? and 2) Is the package unopened? If yes to both, I would have taken her back to the store and returned it since, to me, it was inappropriate for a girl at that age to wear something like that.

    I never had that discussion with my stepson about underwear choices. The way I see it, I would not mind them wearing bikinis at 14. Thongs would be appropriate at 16 (and even then it is a privilege). If they decide to use it as a means to impress the opposite sex and in that point, they lose that privilege until they reach 18.

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