Spilling the Beans on Skimpy Swimwear

Spilling the beans on Swim Briefs

In my post “Swimwear Etiquette: Swim Briefs, Bikinis, Thongs, etc,” I mentioned letting people you are going to the beach with know that you wear against the norm swimwear. More so when younger kids would be along, so the parents could be prepared to answer questions if needed. Also I feel it would make me more comfortable if whoever I’m going with already knows I’ll be wearing a swim bikini brief. I want to brainstorm how to go about spilling the beans on wearing skimpy swimwear. I have the urge to just let the cat out of the bag to a friend to see how it goes. My assumption is he would be cool about it, which is how friends should handle it.

The easy way is if you have a partner to let them do it. My wife typically makes the arrangements if we are going somewhere with people, so I’d put the ball in her court. So far we haven’t done any beach trips with my kids friends’ families or anyone for that matter. If the ball is in your court, you have a bit more deciding to do. Probably easiest is to try and work it into a text conversation or plain out state it in one. Guess it really should be brought up in the planning of the beach or pool trip. Hey, by the way I like to wear swim briefs. I’d aim to make it a point that you are not asking if it is okay to wear one, but that you will be.

When I did a little boating with my friend, I tried to work it into a conversation. Maybe not quite work it in, but allude to it. I think it would be odd to just blurt it out of nowhere. There was one time when there were some females in bikinis kayaking nearby. Well, somehow the conversation got to it would be fine to give the ladies some eye candy too. He was referring to me removing my shirt, but I tried to respond in a devilish tone that I do give the women some eye candy at the beach. Of course that was a long shot chance of connecting that I show more of myself than the typical guy beach goer. My goal is to have a better plan of bringing the topic up next time around.

Have you brought up your swimwear choice with someone you know? If so, how did you go about it?


13 Responses

  1. Black Stallion says:

    As far as letting people know that I wear minimalistic swimwear, I don’t say anything about it.
    I just wear it as of it’s any other article of clothing.
    Now with that in mind, I do have normal minimalistic swimwear that is family friendly, and I have some skimpier swimwear, the deal is when there are kids around I will wear the regular minimalistic swimwear, these are what I feel guarantees that there will be no “MALFUNCTIONS” such as accidentally becoming a thong, but reality is none of my swimsuits become thongs, unless it’s a thong. Some of my bikini cut swimwear shows more of my rear than my other briefs. The fact and point is, I just wear them and I don’t make a deal of it.
    Now, I should mention that the topic has come up, and I will tell you the story.
    So yes I’m black, and yes I live in the United States, and I live in the city.
    So….
    It was summer time, the weather was nice, my sister, mom, and niece were visiting. My niece wanted to go swimming, so we got dressed to go to the nearest public pool.
    I decided to wear my “Marcuse – Arrest Me” swim bikini.
    Despite the model name, it’s not really a risqué bikini, it is one of my fuller swim bikinis. So my mother later on that day tried making a suggestion that I wear something more “Conservative”.
    Later on that day we went so Wal-mart, and she casually said that she was going to buy me some swim trunks, they wear those long board shorts.
    Of course I said thanks but, no thanks, I don’t need any swim trunks, I already have swim suits. I asked her what was wrong with what I had on earlier, abs at that point I just let her say what she had to say.
    Now I should note, that does not change what I wear when I swim, I still wear that swim brief, I still wear my others. I still don’t wear board shorts, or “Damn Near Pants”, nor does it change how I feel about wearing briefs, bikinis, or thongs.
    The fact is I stand my ground. And I stand firm, with no shame.
    So I tell this experience, with hopes, that other guys will see, there is no harm in wearing the brief style or bikini cut swimwear.
    You make it more awkward by just mentioning it, or making a deal of it.
    Just do it, don’t make a big deal of it, you’ll only draw attention to yourself. Just go a about your business, be yourself, and that in itself will help you.
    To make it more acceptable, we have to accept the fact that is just clothes. It is us that males wearing bikinis, thongs, and briefs so odd, and we make it odd by acting like immature children. And some women are just as immature as we are, but it is everybody’s individual responsibility to be reasonable responsible adults.
    Now, there is more to it but that’s just the easy part. The more complicated part is in our minds, and that is to be mature.
    And I’m not going to go into that.

    • T says:

      While I can appreciate Nate’s courtesy in giving advanced warning that he will be wearing a swim brief,I think by doing so, in a way you’re admitting that you might be on rocky territory and doing something that could be deemed controversial. Black Stallion’s way of not saying anything,but moderating the cut of his bikini depending on the situation,sounds like a better compromise. It also means that he is still able to wear a style that he is comfortable with and can graciously decline his Mother’s offer to buy him some horrendous board shorts(I bet his face was a picture when she mentioned that). As he says, “don’t make a big deal about it,just do it!”

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      Thanks for sharing your story. I was surprised my mother didn’t say anything about my swim brief when she saw me in it. Although it was only from the bedroom at the house we were renting on vacation to the pool. Guess maybe since my wife is fine with me wearing them, she just bit her tongue. I haven’t been presented trunks as of yet at least. It’s too bad we need to mentally condition ourselves thanks to societal norms and stigmas about our swimwear choice. Like you I would change up my swimwear brief coverage based on the environment.

  2. DrMarkin says:

    I won’t wear thongs or g-strings around the children, but I DO wear them around adults. I get flack for it, but it doesn’t bother me. Some of the women really like it and one of the wives even convinced her husband he needed to start wearing minimal swimwear.

    I wore an unlined white g-string once when a friend & I went to the beach without our wives or families. He was okay with it; even when it became slightly transparent once it was wet. He made the comment that he always thought I was an exhibitionist, but knew for sure on that trip to the beach!

    I was able to convince a coworker to try thongs when we were on a business trip and we had a free day to go to the beach. I had one particular g-string with side clips that was brand new. He borrowed it and he liked i, so I gifted it to him. We went to beach and he lay out with the clips unclipped and the straps laying to the side. I took his pic and sent it to hospital wife and she loved it. I gave him the g-string, of course.

    We had one male friend a few years ago who reacted negatively to my speedo. I can’t imagine how he would have reacted if I was wearing a thong. He & his wife never spoke with us again. Very childish.

    • T says:

      Hi DoctorM. Good to know I’m not the only one who gives g-strings as gifts to friends and workmates.

      It sounds like you have the kind of outgoing personality that encourages at least some of your male friends to ditch their inhibitions and follow your example by baring almost all. The guy who unclipped the sides of the g-string you gave him sounds like a candidate for naturism(lol),but hopefully having enjoyed the freedom of wearing a g-string,he didn’t revert back to his regular style after that trip.

      What a shame that your friend and his wife were willing to sacrifice a friendship over something as trivial as you wearing a speedo. I wonder if part of you is now wishing it had been a thong you were wearing? lol.

  3. T says:

    Has anyone else been asked if they are taking a speedo with them when you tell someone you’re going on holiday to a sunny destination? I know I usually ask that when friends and workmates are going away,and the usual reply is a slightly embarrassed no way,accompanied by a nervous laugh.
    When people ask me that and I reply with a no,I prefer a
    thong,they think you are kidding,and I tend to leave them hanging with that thought.
    I have a niece whose husband is almost obsessed about asking me if was wearing speedos when I’m away. Not sure how he’d react if I told him I don’t usually have tan lines(lol).

    Anyway,would I spill the beans about my choice of skimpy swimwear before meeting up with someone? Definitely not!

    • DonS says:

      Not quite in the same situation, as it involves a woman. She was a new employee from India when the work Christmas party was organised. I was delegated to organise things for the staff in my building. We had been to this particular venue the year before and decided to return as one of the features was a pool, and the other was that if the group was sufficiently large they would not have any other functions for other groups that night, so we had the place to ourselves. Everyone except the new employee knew the arrangements, just needed date options. With her, I had to explain everything, and finished by saying “there was a pool there, so take your bikini for a swim”. She looked a bit blank, and I wondered if she perhaps did not wear them for religious or personal reasons. But then if she did not wear bikinis, then perhaps she’d wear a one-piece. She was attractive, and I guess I just made the usual “young + attractive = bikini wearer” judgement. She said nothing then, but I later let her know the preferred date, agian saying nothing. Another female staff member said she had seen the new one at the public pool in a one-piece a couple of times. Anyway, on the night she arrived, and by then some other young female employees and girl-friends of male employees were in the pool, just about all in bikinis. The Indian asked me where to change, and a short-time later reappeared in a bikini, looking quite relaxed and got into the pool.

      It turned out that was her first time in a bikini, and it gave her confidence. Eyes were on her that night. It wasn’t a skimpy bikini, but better that what the chain stores offered, so she evidently put some thought into it. Up until then she had been a bit reserved, but after that she opened up and talked to us at work. She became a really valued employee, and it was a loss when she moved on after a change in research focus four years later.

      • T says:

        It sounds like she may have wrongly assumed she had to wear a bikini when you specifically mentioned it rather than a more general swimsuit. Turned out okay in the end.
        You mentioned that almost all of the females were in bikinis,but were you the only guy in a speedo(assuming you were wearing one)?

        • DonS says:

          I didn’t mean to imply only the women were in the pool. It was the younger women though, the older ones did not go in. I had my current partner by then, she was 33 and the oldest woman in the pool, and still happy to wear a bikini at that age.

          Most of the men went in (oldest about 60), and just Speedos or boardshorts. This happened about 25 years ago, and even back then it was the men in their 20s who wore the boardshorts, the older ones (including me, I was mid-30s then) preferring Speedos, so the split had already occurred by then. Speedos were easily obtainable in stores then (and this was regional Queensland), whereas skimpier styles were not, so there was nothing smaller than a Speedo. There were children around and in the pool, this being the work Christmas party, so there was no vigorous activity in the pool, just basically wading or talking for a bit before the dinner and Santa show.

          The thought that the Indian woman thought it had to be a bikini for swimming occurred to me after mentioning it to her, but I left it as I figured she would talk to another female staff member if she had doubts. She was early 20s then, and it wasn’t just her curves that drew the eyes, it was her skin tone and straight black hair as well. Also a bit taller than average. We had Indian visitors at work at times, but no employees apart from this one, so in a small regional town she stood out a bit. She returned to India at the end of the four years, even if the work had continued she would have returned, she was getting bored with the place and wanted to settle down.

  4. Jeff says:

    I had a slightly different experience…I started the summer with a goal of getting myself a solid bikini tan line and then go for a thong tan line (but I didn’t get to the thong). And I happened to meet a new girl and she was staying over for the weekend after one of my rare beach days of the summer. I felt the need to tell her I preferred a bikini when the situation allows before she would see my tan line. Turns out she thinks its pretty sexy that I am that confident to wear a bikini.

    • Black Stallion says:

      Congratulations!
      Congratulations to both of you.
      You for being a man, and being strong, determined, and having courage.
      And congratulations to her for being supportive, and a real woman for allowing you to be a man.
      I hope all works out for you.
      Thank you for being on the team.
      See what happens when we are men. We can’t let those who are weak hearted overpower is, because then we become the weak.
      Keep setting examples, and never second guess yourself.

  5. RR says:

    This summer, my wife and I went rafting on the river nearby to our home. I decided I wanted to wear a thong as I already had a good tan going and I had just purchased some new swim thongs earlier in the year… But her friend was joining us so I wanted to make sure it was ok with her first. So I awkwardly asked her straight up if she was ok with it. Turns out she was totally fine (being European). But asking her before hand made it a lot easier for me when we got to the river as there were no surprises when I peeled my shorts off.

    Now if I was just wearing a brief or trunks, I wouldn’t have bothered even bringing it up. All my briefs/trunks are perfectly modest I figure, so if I’m offending you wearing those, that’s on you! But I get that thongs are pretty skimpy so I don’t mind checking first.

    I just put the long version of this story up in the swimsuit forum, go give it a read if you’re interested!

  6. Jonathan says:

    I do advise people of my taste. Sometimes they request I don’t wear my bikinis. I have my ‘thong friends’. I don’t get upset if they say they prefer I cover up more. I’m also aware of where I am in the world. It’s also the reason I take beach vacations in certain places and not others.

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