The Struggle: Swim Briefs

The Struggle: Swim Briefs

This is going to be my third summer of only wearing swim briefs at the local beaches. We are not going weekly or anything, but two or three times a summer. It was a long time in the making to get to this point and reach this goal. Before I was able to wear them on vacations a few times. It was a struggle to break out of my shell locally knowing it would be possible to run into someone I knew. Also it is just hard to go against the crowds.

Now it still isn’t an easy task to do. Mentally I still have struggles. Odd thing is that my struggles aren’t when I’m getting ready to go to the beach. My problem with that is choosing the pair I want to wear. Typically, my mental struggle is when my mind is wandering when out and about and see other people. Seems just thinking all the guys I see will just be wearing trunks if at the beach intimidates me or makes me second guess my swim briefs. That society norm that is engraved in the mind just kicks in it seems. Luckily I always snap out of that ridiculous thought that guys can’t wear form fitting swimwear outside of sports and lap swimming.

Really it shouldn’t be a struggle for us guys to wear swim briefs or the equivalent of what women wear. We should be able to feel like we can wear them without being judged (Guess women can have this issue too) or laughed at. I would like to be able to wear my swim briefs at any pool or even a water park. For me it is easier to go against the norm at the beach where you can spread out from others. People can set up farther away from you if they like or I can and people then can choose to set up by me. At pools and water parks, it feels like there is more opportunity for stupid people to arise with less space and more people.

My struggle I’m mentally working on now is training myself to take the step for swim briefs at local pools. It seems this should be fairly easy, since the times we’ve gone in the past we’re mostly in the pool. People would just have to experience the scary swim brief for the time I drop my shorts at our spot to the time I get in the pool. Then of course from the time I get out and dry off and leave or put my shorts back on. Seems fairly simple! I do feel I’m mentally getting there though it has been a while, since we’ve been to a local pool. I’m sure we won’t be going this year either.

I really think it would be awesome to wear my swim brief at the nearby water park. How great it would be to ditch the trunks with all the water activities there and beat the heat in a swim brief. However I do find their phrasing for appropriate swimwear a little odd. It states “Approved swimwear must be worn and must be modest in design, properly lined and gender appropriate.” First off, what is meant by approved other than they don’t want suits with metal scratching things up. Really the gender appropriate is what sticks out to me. Does that mean what society thinks is appropriate? Or does it mean not wearing a suit made for the opposite gender? Now I don’t think they exactly are enforcing how it is written, since I’ve seen females wearing suits I would not consider modest. Probably comes down to complaints when it may get enforced. Maybe someday I’ll become brave enough to test the waters in a swim brief.

One that would be similar in amount of struggle as water parks in some aspects would be swim briefs in front of friends, family, and my kids’ friends and family. Last year I did a little dipping my toes in on this one. I did wear a swim brief at a house pool that we shared with my parents, my brother, my in-laws, and an Aunt on vacation. However I don’t think many noticed what I was wearing, since I was in the pool when most were around. You can read that post here. Mentally I feel it would be harder breaking out my swim brief in-front of the sister-in-law and family. Guess mainly because the nieces and nephew are pretty much teenagers. I don’t think they would comment on it when I’m around though. As for friends, I really only do things with one occasionally. I kind of think he would be cool about it. He’s pretty easy going. So my struggle would be more my wife’s friends and family and the kids’ friends. It comes down to more when there will be kids and/or teenagers in the picture. Really it shouldn’t be an issue since I’m not pushing any boundaries with my swim brief choice. Again I’ll blame it on what our society portrays us guys should wear. Makes it feel when you go against the norm you are being a bit naughty. So in my mind a little voice makes me think swim briefs aren’t an appropriate choice. Obviously that isn’t the case, since I wear them and swim bikinis in front of my kids. It is just a mental struggle that goes on in my head at times.

I am definitely struggling less with my swim brief wearing. The first time is the hardest to mentally prepare for and do. After that there is still mental preparation, but I find it easier to do it especially when you have support. I will continue to work on chipping away at times I still wear trunks. Hopefully, I can get to the point of only wearing swim briefs, so maybe I can inspire others.

27 Responses

  1. Skip says:

    I have to say that I’ve been wearing a speedo for a very long time but I have never run into someone I know! It has to happen sooner than later. I did wear a speedo in front of my kids but stopped as they got older. I didn’t want to embarrass them!!

    • Tony says:

      Speedo is comfortable and cool. I short trunks around family but a speedo definitely at the beach. Less is more Enjoy the speedo buddy. Tony

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      My plan is to continue wearing swim briefs around my kids. They should get accustom to it, since for the most part that is what they mainly see me in other than at the community swimming pool and local water park. Those occasions do not happen often and most likely won’t be happening this summer. Though hopefully next pool trip will be a swim brief one. They need to learn guys can wear less than trunks too.

  2. Tony says:

    Yes. I know how you feel and think. I have worn Speedos for some time but under my shorts. When I get to the beach I drop my shorts. I prefer minimum tan lines so at private beaches I tend to wear less. Less is more. Be confident. At the Y I wear speedos. Do not look if you do not like what you see. Enjoy your freedom. Rick

  3. T says:

    Can I begin by saying how envious I am of the body of the hunk in the two tone speedo at the top of the page. Was this a stock picture of a male model,or is it someone you know personally? lol.
    Secondly,Nate,you DO already inspire others,because your continued struggle is the same for many of us who follow your blog.
    I’ve mentioned before that being accompanied by your wife and kids to the beach should give you greater confidence when wearing a bikini, and is much less likely to attract any negativity than if you were a single guy on his own. That being the case,I would prompt you to take more of a risk with your choice of swimwear. Instead of a conservative speedo with full back and wide sides,why not try a halfback,or three quarter back string bikini?
    Must admit I would not like to define what approved swimwear should look like. My guess is that it is aimed mainly at men and probably prohibits the wearing of thongs,string bikinis and anything that might become transparent when wet e.g White swim briefs or shorts that are unlined. I personally would not give my custom to a place that imposed these types of restrictions on a customer’s attire.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      I only show my best side..hehe. We need to struggle together to try and turn the tides on guys can’t wear form fitting swimwear. Best way to do that is share our struggles with each other and give support and then share the accomplishments.

      I agree having the wife and kids along makes it hard for others to question what I am wearing. I actually haven’t worn a swim brief with 3″ sides, since my first venture out in a swim brief to the local beach. All the suits I’ve worn, since are 2″ or less. They however have been ones I’d consider full frontal and back for the most part. I’m trying to balance representing the swim brief in a good manner while enjoying what I want to wear. I don’t want to try and push it too much locally. The Kiniki Riviera is one I have for potential local wear, which is stepping things up a notch in the front and back.

      • Cingularity says:

        We never did hear who’s in the header picture btw!

        Another thought, I think the idea of safety in numbers has value. Not sure where you are geographically, but if there were other like-minded folks nearby it could add some validation and help with confidence to hit the beach together. Granted, I’ve never done this, in some part it seems tough to identify truly like-minded folks.

        You never know too, sometimes just having a trendsetter can help validate the choice. I’ve seen that with ladies for sure. When it comes to minimal swim, topfreedom, etc usually it’s a bit like dominos, when one goes others follow.

  4. Jeff says:

    I’m pretty nervous and limited in public places that I’ve worn a swim bikini. But I want to push that this year. I keep telling myself when I get “caught ” by someone I know I’ll just say don’t knock it till you try it …but I’m not sure I’m that brave. It really is just so much better than long trunks and we all know that

    • Crossfithong says:

      Hello guys.
      I wear speedo or bikini all the time at beach or pool and even I’ve worn thong on front of my nephews (my cousins are ok with it), but I think is part of my personality and also they know I would never hurt my nephews and nieces then the biggest problem is society thinks men wearing speedo are child molester or perverted.
      As a gay man, society expect these kind of things, even at beach, when I wear speedo I’m sure people immediately think 🤔 “gay 🤷🏽‍♂️“.
      So technically I don’t have anything to lose.
      But I understand how you guys society put your masculinity in question because you are showing more that you should. Ironically you need lots of balls to do that.
      I fill support from this group of great people are struggling like I do when I Wear thong or speedo at the beach. But I always say, life is so short to being worry about that people. People get surprised at the beginning but after 5 or 10 min must of the. Get over. So, it’s on us guys.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      My guess is most of us still have some nervousness/anxiety when we had to the beach to sport a swim brief. All we can do is encourage each other to take the steps we would like to take. Pick a day and get yourself psyched for taking the next step to push yourself when you get up and do it. I’m finding I just need to get myself in that right mindset and I can do it. Good Luck with it.

  5. Tony says:

    Go for it!! Please yourself. Swim bikinis are cool and more of use need to express ourselves. Wear it while you can and enjoy the moment. Tony

  6. SM_Thongguy says:

    Felt this post.

    I can literally put myself in your shoes or flip flops.

    I do think that you are calculated and should worry less about the others. Perhaps build confidence with beach trips, to make it ‘normal’ to you.

    The family, friends and in laws is always the hardest step of freedom.

    It feels you doing you, makes them look bad or shocks them the most. Simply because they just want everyone to be normal. Again as you keep saying it’s what society does to us.

    Even in places where you allowed to wear briefs. Then it’s body shaming.

    I believe you are postive and will keep up the briefs. Psyc yourself up it’s briefs or thongs hahaha.. So briefs is not that bad.

  7. Cingularity says:

    I recently wore my thong to the beach. My wife also wore a thong. We were on a public beach on Lake Michigan with our kids. We walked, got in the water, tanned, played in the sand with the kids. We setup in a fairly discreet area, but the beach was busy enough that there were still people pretty close and lots of walkers. No one said a word. Older folks, groups of teenagers, guys, girls, families… Everyone just minded their own business. It was fun, refreshing and very comfortable. This was my first time in public in a thong, just decided that with all the crazy things going on in the world I wasn’t going to worry about public opinion like that any more. Since then, I’ve worn my Joe Snyder briefs to a family pool party, in laws and everything. Again, no negative remarks at all. Then this last weekend, wore the same briefs to a yacht club pool a couple times and on the very busy beach at Cedar Point. I did hear some commentary at the yacht club, but didn’t hear exactly what they were saying. Only something about a speedo guy, but the conversation didn’t look agitated or anything. Over the last month or so I’ve realized 95% of the obstacle is internal. Very few people will have anything negative to say, especially if you just act normal. Like I said, I played with my kids, read the news, looked for rocks, etc… Regarding running into friends, now that some of my friends have seen my choices, still nothing negative. Between my wife and I, we’ve even motivated some others to try new things. (There was a pretty cool hot tub night!). We aren’t super models either, not that it matters but it provides context. Some people may think it would be easier to wear briefs or thongs in public if only they had a perfect body, but I don’t, a pretty average dad-bod really. Additionally, making these swimwear choices are probably a little more difficult in the Midwest. Seems like culture, tolerance, fashion,etc all start at the coasts and find their way to the Midwest a couple decades later. But in a world wear people can justify flying a Confederate flag, over a hundred thousand people have died from a pandemic in our country, riots in the streets, murder hornets, 15% unemployment…. And so much more, if someone has a problem with a dude in swim briefs or a gal in a thong bikini then they should seriously reconsider their priorities.

    • T says:

      Great contribution to the subject and a very uplifting post. You are so right about most of our fear being internal. We can overthink things and imagine the worst case scenario to such an extent that it totally inhibits us from getting out there in our skimpy swimwear.
      As I mentioned in my comments to Nate,having a wife and children with you makes negative comments much less likely than if you were a single man. I think your experience would have been somewhat different if you’d been doing all those activities on your own while wearing a thong. Another plus for you was the fact your wife was also wearing one. It would have been hypocritical for a passer by to call you out when your good lady was dressed similarly.
      Here’s hoping your brave decision to throw caution to the wind and get the thong out will inspire other guys here to follow suit. As you say,there are so many bad things happening in the world to be concerned about,and men in thongs is not one of them!

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      Thanks for sharing your experience. That is awesome you got to thong as a couple and enjoy the beach as a family. Good to hear that you motivated others to branch out some. That is a testament of why we just need to put ourselves out there no matter of our fears. You are right on that we have more important things to be concerned about than what someone is wearing at the beach.

    • RT says:

      My wife and I have always been into very minimalist swimwear, and have donned our respective g-strings on many a beach both near and far. I’m more than sure that several have had some negative comments, but we don’t care and we certainly are not going to be worrying about what strangers may be saying. Life’s too short…get out there and wear what you want no matter how skimpy.

  8. Cingularity says:

    My previous comment ended up being super long, the general point was: You can do it!

  9. Bikini Obsessed says:

    The struggle is real. It takes guts to don a skimpy or even moderate speedo in public let alone in front of family and friends. I feel it can be situational (where you are) and how the environment is. I have thought that maybe there is a time and place for skimpy speedos (not all the time unfortunately) but at the same time as one skimpy speedo wearer said to me: “wear what you want”. Still, easier said than done. I feel like guys should be able to have all the style options that women have for swimwear. Also I’ve found that rocking skimpy speedos has maybe given me perspective with how women might feel (with worrying about being seen as an object). Men can also be objectified. I think women have some of the same issues as men when it comes to swimwear actually. For them though it seems that there is more pressure to have the perfect body to wear a bikini whereas for guys it is less the case that way. You can be an overweight guy and rock a speedo. I feel like there is a stigma for fit guys that wear speedos though. Also it is rare to see fit younger guys wearing speedos. People seem quick to judge. At the same time people are going to think what they want and you cant control that. You just have to wear your speedos confidently. My main struggle is do I wear a skimpy speedo style (high cut with skimpy sides) or go more moderate speedo style. I have felt like i’m being a bit ‘naughty’ with wearing the skimpy style sometimes. I think because it can be viewed as ‘sexy’. I’m not necessarily looking to ‘pick up chicks’ just because i’m wearing that style also. So I could be misunderstood or easily judged. From what I have found here in North America it has been a mixed bag with some people really checking me out to others not even noticing or reacting. Friends and family are different though, and so far hardly anyone in my life knows what i’ve been wearing to the pool as of late. I do feel a bit bad that it seems like i’m ‘hiding’ my skimpy swimwear from people in my life. Actually sometimes it doesnt feel good at all and I even feel a bit guilty for it. I wonder if any guys on here can relate to me that way. It has felt like a dream come true though to wear a bikini style speedo though.

  10. Mark says:

    Just get on with it! All this agonizing and mental hand wringing will drive you nuts if it hasn’t already. Everyone who knows you probably is aware of your ‘secret’ so just come out with it and get it done. After the initial meowing, everyone will settle down and go back to what they were doing before and YOU will feel great and liberated! As many others have already said, life is short so be yourself and wear a Speedo and be proud.

  11. Dan says:

    I suggest focussing first on accomplishing wearing them at the public pool. Wearing a relatively conservative training speedo (8cm or 5cm) would be perfectly acceptable. I completely understand that it does take some confidence about your body but if you’re ok going swimming in shorts then I don’t see speedos being much more of a difference. I ditched my swim shorts in my early 20’s (literally threw them out) and have never looked back. It was so liberating! I now get to wear my speedos almost very day in the pool. I then save my more skimpy bikinis and swim thongs for the beach or garden when on vacation.

  12. JohnnyB says:

    I agree with the many comments on here about ‘just doing it’. If you look or feel naughty or uncomfortable, you’ll telegraph it to the world at large. If your body language says that what you are doing and wearing is normal, then either nobody will take a blind bit of notice, or, if they do notice, they’ll more than likely think it unremarkable.

  13. TBod says:

    I find your journey curiously fascinating, because it’s so different to my own. I’m married and have children and obviously spend much of my time in family beaches and pools. I don’t have a model body – I’m just a normal person. I have never swum in shorts (except once when I hadn’t brought my own swimwear and had to borrow) and it wouldn’t occur to me to do so. I don’t think we would have been allowed to wear shorts at school, briefs are the norm.

    I’ve a fair selection of different swimwear but the most conservative I have worn since I was a child is Kiniki Brazil I’ve never had any bother, even in the USA where I understand there does seem to be a bit more repression about it. It just isn’t an issue for me. And I think if you just get out there and wear it it won’t be any bother for you. So please…. just do it. You’ll be almost disappointed about how little notice anyone takes!

    If you come to Europe, don’t even think about packing baggy swim shorts – they’re actually not allowed in France.

    • The Bottom Drawer says:

      When I was in school the guys on the swim team wore swim briefs, but I don’t recall anyone wearing them at the beach. Guess to be fair I wasn’t to the beach that much as a kid. I grew up near a river and did water skiing and tubing. Think I saw one swim brief during that time on a guy lunching his canoe. It was a full swim brief. This is my fourth summer of wearing just swim briefs to the local beaches where I live. Of course I’ve been the lone one at the beach, but I haven’t had any issues. I don’t typically pay attention to anyone to see if there is any reaction. Normally, I go with a Speedo Solar swim brief or something around that coverage. This year I did break out one of my Kiniki Riviera swim briefs. For me that is probably the skimpiest I’ll go locally. Would be nice to have had the experience of only wearing swim briefs like you.

  14. Matt says:

    I can relate to your post very well! We’ve had a very similar journey when it comes to wearing swim briefs. I made a slow evolution in swimwear starting with jammers when I got into lap swimming some years ago. They were an improvement to be sure over the dork shorts I was wearing when I first started lap swimming. I finally made the switch to speedos in the pool 5 years ago and haven’t looked back. My first pair was a solid black Speedo Endurance brief in a modest cut. It felt absolutely fabulous and liberating to wear it. Not long after I decided to wear it to our favorite beach spot. That took tremendous courage. My wife has been supportive, or at least indifferent about my choice of swimwear. As some of the other commenters noted, wearing a speedo to the beach with the wife and kids is a plus. I have also worn briefs in casual pool settings with family at times. I will often wear a square cut over my brief or bikini and if I want to just peel the square cut off depending on my mood and the setting. Nowadays I rock the euro cuts and especially like the Sporti brand from
    I am more confident than I used to be, although it’s still a mental process preparing to wear a brief suit in public. We live in the South along the Gulf Coast in a very conservative part of the USA. I know I’m going to be the only man out there wearing a bikini/brief when we go to the beach or pool. Sometimes before I go out to the beach or pool , I will put on my brief and stand in front of the bathroom mirror and affirm to myself that this is my preference and part of who I am. It helps to build my confidence. A real man should wear what he wants as long as it is reasonable and he can wear it confidently. This past summer I wore my brief several times on the beach and it felt great. I’ve never really had a negative reaction from anybody. I think one guy might have laughed in my direction on one beach trip, but I ignored him and didn’t let it phase me. I had a nice tan as a bonus. As others have already said just do it!

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